conscious life

Vaccines: a gentle conversation!

Vaccines: a gentle conversation turned real.

Are you ready to see if you are prepared enough to make a good decision regarding vaccines? Here is an opportunity to move past the emotion and see honestly where we are. I ask you to put down your “anti” or “pro” hat and just talk facts. Feel free to add any questions or any resources. It is time to come together and teach each other!

I have to say I am a little surprised by how low below the belt both sides of the “measles debate” is getting. I am also saddened by this “debate” for another very big reason: the inability to critically think beyond what is fed into you. Today, we call ourselves conscious beings, with the freedoms to make choices, but it seems like many are ready to give up these freedoms because they are too emotionally charged in being right. We are very much looking to displace anger and find blame, which is exactly what the man behind the curtain wants. It seems to me there are so many people ready to stand up and “fight” against the non-vaccinated or vaccinated children with out having more then a few blogs or opinion based articles to support their charge.

When we debate we get emotionally charged and your body ignites with all kinds of chemicals to prepare for a fight. You release intense levels of adrenaline; your ability to see things clearly or reason is lost. You lose the ability to listen to all sides, especially those that have an angle of information that we need to understand, because you are preparing your next attack.

So this is when I call for a truce and just ask both sides to look to the following questions. If you can answer them truthfully without looking up the answers then share your view with others so we can come together, isn’t our country already divided enough? When I hear words like “mandatory”, I just can’t believe that anyone would open that door, which is how I know we are loosing our way. This country is suppose to be about freedoms, are you so quick to give these “freedoms” away to pharmaceutical companies?

Since it seems that fear of death is causing this great debate, lets start there:

  1. What is the leading cause of death in the U.S?

Right away we can see that we are missing the mark on this debate. We should really be talking about the food pyramid and chemicals by Monsanto. We should be addressing why school lunches consider ketchup a vegetable, and how we are paving the way for the sickest country in the developed world. However, for the point of this gentle conversation we will move forward.

  1. What is the “germ theory?” Do you understand the difference between a vaccine and the “natural virus”? What is the difference between how your body responds to a virus vs. when it is injected directly into your body?
  2. When vaccines entered the scene, were (their natural counter part) “the natural virus” already mutating?
  3. Is it important for you to get sick? Does this impact human evolution?
  4. What are the ingredients in the MMR? What ingredients have not been studied that are in the MMR?
  5. Have you ever read a Package Insert from the MMR?
  6. What is “shedding” a live virus?
  7. Is there live virus in the MMR? Do you know the pharmaceutical company that produces and manufactures the MMR? How much have they earned and how much have they paid in vaccine injury?
  8. Have you spoken with a parent that believed in vaccines until their child was injured?
  9. Do you know the dosing schedule difference from 1988 and the schedule 2014? Has it changed and why?
  10. Have you ever heard of Thalidomide? Do you think there are other meds that may share a similar story?
  11. Do you know how many deaths occur from pharmaceutical drugs being taken as prescribed each year?
  12. Have you ever asked your doctor where he/she has gotten information about vaccines (after all they are human and this information isn’t deposited into their DNA)?
  13. Are you aware how pharmaceutical companies grow illness through marketing campaigns? How many countries allow pharmaceutical companies to market direct to consumer? (T.V Ads?)


The aftermath of Columbus Day: Do you know why we honor this man?

The above article I have researched on a number of levels and it comes at no surprise.  I have always wondered why we celebrate a man who destroyed the hearts of so many. Why do we celebrate a man that is so “ugly” there really are not enough words to clearly describe what today we would call a “socio-path”, filled with greed, and abuse.  Additionally, why do we teach this false look at history to our children??

His-tory should be our lesson to evolve our future. The present moment is where the actions need to take place to shape the beautiful path we walk. Therefore, our actions of celebrating a man, alongside the likes of Martin Luther King Jr., seems all kinds of wrong.  However, if you look really deep, this type of behavior is being rewarded all over the world on a day to day basis.

Today our world is filled with a great deal of suffering because of men like Columbus. A fear based society that is not progressive enough to critically think about the truth. Some may perceive this as being negative, I simply perceive it as  a gift. It is not easy to walk forward in your own light. It takes a great deal of courage to ask questions and make decisions based on facts and intuition instead of emotional based opinions. However, these are the great gifts that our higher power bestowed upon us and inside of us.  A primal calling to right the world instead of dividing it by color, race, and class. This is why we get so emotional when we witness the suffering of others.  This is why we feel the need to fight for any cause whether it come at the hands of war, politics, or greed.

We can look to our history and clearly see the men and women in the world that walked in their light. Individuals such as Gandhi, Mother Theresa, and Jesus just to name a few, spoke to us about loving those around us and supporting this beautiful world. We take these messages and use them for feel good moments then go right back to joining the flock.

Media outlets, politics, congress, and everything connected in between focus on false evidence becoming reality. Many in this world just go with the flow, but in our world today you need to truly create your own flow….even if this means digging your own river.  It sure is easier to flock with the sheeps, but that is not going to change the world around us.

You are not just a small drop in the ocean waters, you are an ocean in a drop – Rumi

It is when we find the courage to ask simple questions, research our history, and seek truth, that we will truly soar. How do we prepare to soar? Well this means that you have to live a life that is not supported by the world around us today. You must stop looking for others to validate and define your success. You must be able to critically think instead of argue over simple opinions that will never gain forward momentum.

The world around us always has a story to tell. Most often it isn’t a story that warms my heart. Does it warm yours? We have been told the world was flat. Did our pioneers really believe this? It doesn’t matter, but what does matter is that perception may be the reality. However, in no way is this the truth. I teach my son to speak his truth even if it isn’t the same as those around him. I teach him how to love and understand the world and those who we see as different. Most importantly I teach him to love without condition and to love himself.  If I teach these values to my son then I better be following these same values to set an example….Our actions speak our truth.

Speak your truth!!

Love and light!

A Tribute to Emma

Picture of EMMA

“My soul can find no staircase to heaven unless it be through Earth’s loveliness” – Michelangelo

It is in the depths of a soul that we find the truths that can help us move through this journey. Each day with each challenge we gain wisdom, even at its darkest hour. The wisdom doesn’t always find its way in courage and it is not always supported by those around us. It is when we feel so alone, even amongst our loved ones that we suffer.
We all face our challenges, but I am sure it would be easy to agree that the loss of a child is just unbearable. There is no preparation enough to share how to move forward to create a new walking path. There is just the love of those around you to say; sorry will never be enough as I can never understand, but I am here to sit with you and just hold your hand!

To my amazing friend Keriann and her family as they celebrate their daughter Emma. She will always be an inspiration of true light and love!

Listen to the sweet whispers of the waking morning that speak of pure inspiration.
A beautiful soul, trilling the song of Peace, while blazing a path of love
Your beautiful smile is an engrained metaphor in the hearts of all those you touch.
You have gone home to fly with the Angels, leaving a peace in your path that will forever be a memory
At the top of each breath is the light of your soul; this will help ease the grief that your journey has ended.
As to walk in the woods and meet a fallen tree may seem lonely, but you will always be the playful light there to shine your love.
You are free and full of EMMAnating love as an imprint of your sweet spirit.

Growing into Awareness

It has been a summer of many blessings and challenges. It is often when we have an expectation of life, when we think we have all the answers that we get knocked around the most. While I learned to love from a truly primal space of trusting the divine, it was trusting the path in front of me that was the hardest lesson in motion. I was gifted such a great amount of awareness while going through my journey with Leukemia and I am thankful that it was done in a more solitary and protected space. When we got word that we would be moving to Southern Wisconsin I felt something in my belly that would plant a seed of excitement. My heart wondered how could this be, while my mind was thinking a fresh start…but I didn’t a new start, I just needed to allow and trust like I had the two years prior. How quickly we forget!
Tad and I moved 30 mins from our other home, our other life, in Grayslake, IL. So it seemed easy to expect that life would be as it was before….
Slowly I would learn this was not the case. Even though I had just learned so many lessons in love, truth, kindness, compassion, it was living those truths that would be the greatest challenge. I have never felt so pushed around and while it was happening, I didn’t even have words…it almost felt cruel. However, what I did have in Southern Wisconsin were the friends who have always loved me when I was weak and confused and when I was strong with love. They know who they are, but it was their love that held me in a sacred space, so that I could see again.
It has been the weeks that have followed that I have felt a peace that I have never felt in life. An awareness to the things that I wrote about and now I am applying. It may be one thing to have the knowledge, but altogether different to apply that knowledge…this alone is a beautiful lesson: I live with kindness and truth. Unfortunately it is this truth that brings out insecurity in others even if you are not aware of it.
Our ego is in the business of creating stories to make you right, keep you separate from the divine within your soul. Even with awareness we can create a story or we can be involved in the story of another and not even know it. The only awareness that creates freedom is when you honestly can say to yourself “I know I acted in truth”, “I can not be a part of any story, not even my own!”
So with this being said a friend of mine lovingly put me on 90 days probation. Of course this was a joke, but after she left it was really the first time that I knew I had to release any insecurities, getting my priorities inline: God, Love, family and true friendships. In my heart I knew I could no longer get caught up in the story, it was not serving anyone, so just thinking of this “probation” made me smile and give myself permission to just be.

“Every caterpillar has to rest to become a butterfly and you’ll soon find your wings again, in the meantime, let angels wrap you in theirs” – A. Taylor

“Being honest might not get you a lot of friends, but it will always get you the right ones” – J. Lennon

Question: How do we set free our story?
Identify if you are coming from right or wrong, victim, or perpetrator. Identify if you are trying to separate yourself, putting yourself higher, more evolved. If so then you need to have compassion to see it from the other shoes, then set it free…it isn’t yours to figure out, it isn’t yours to fix. You must have the understanding that we are all doing the best we can, acting with love, patience, tolerance, and care. We are all on the same path together, when you feel pushed around it does feel uncomfortable and it is tough to have uncomfortable conversations. However, it is that courage to speak honestly that will take the story down and behind it is an answer of connectedness. Be grateful when you feel pushed around,because there is an answer, a piece of the puzzle behind your story. The greatest lesson of all is that there is no story.

Let your story reside in the imagination of creation not to fulfill the story of your ego!

Many blessings,

Holly Peckskamp

Be the Message

Life is such a beautiful trip. It is as easy as buying a plane ticket to your desired location, showing up at the gate and getting on, each step placed one foot in front of the other. Sure some fly first class, some are on a longer journey then others, but the point is that it is all laid out for us, from beginning to end. However, we don’t always have this wisdom in the moment.

It has been an extraordinary couple of months. We bought a new home, moved to Wisconsin, I am trying to get my book reprocessed because of the mistake made in editing, and before we moved I had a final back surgery to re-correct a fusion from when I was little.  When you have a number of changes in life it certainly brings out all your qualities, but I know in my heart that no matter the journey I still get to decide how I will flow with it. I had forgotten this wisdom and was feeling overwhelmed; to be in truth I felt lost. Until Sawyer reminded me.

Today Sawyer and I were walking into Target and he saw a few bags on the ground and he said “momma someone littered” and I said yes they did. He practically cut me off he was so excited to share his thoughts. He said “Mother Earth is not going to heal if people keep doing things like that” My heart melted. Sawyer has had a little bit of a rough time transitioning. Who knows exactly why, there are a number of guesses…change, loss of control, but either way it is cause for frustration because no one wants to see their child flailing. In addition, as parents we tend to blame ourselves for every period of growth, every life lesson, forgetting that those are our children’s lessons. It reminded me that Sawyer is grasping the tools Tad and I are teaching him to be a kind, loving person. However, right now, he faces a life lesson, which is moving. Each day he gets closer connected to his journey because Tad and I are keeping the rules hard.  It is so difficult to discipline your child when you understand there is cause for their behavior, but this is when it is even more important. His comment today reminded me of this. After I got him dropped off at school, a big kiss good-bye, I got in my car and the tears just unloaded. Sometimes it just seems like you are barely gonna catch your next breath, and something happens to give you space; wisdom and guidance within the same breath to know that everything will always work out as it is divinely designed.

All this sometimes seems so easy to write, but yet so hard when you want someone to just protect you from falling. I feel so blessed to have these signs because without them I may not remember. My ego hard at work to make me feel the stress as if it is a part of my mind/ body/ soul. So today through Sawyer’s heart, I remember the words of a very evolved soul: Be the message, be your heart. Living from your heart space will ensure that there is no need to worry. As I looked back on this past week I recognized that the physical release of tears is like watering your soul’s garden…and it needed some watering.

With all these realizations and adjustments, I just said a quick prayer. The prayer:

Make me an instrument of your peace;
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is error, the truth;
Where there is doubt, the faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
And where there is sadness, joy.

Around me I felt as all was as it should be, filled with love and happening divinely. Let us all have this reminder, even when you feel the world on your shoulders.

This left me with one thought, live the message. Don’t worry about all the uncontrollable aspects of life or when life seems out of control, live the message. Stick with the simple elements of love.

When people show you who they really are you need to believe them!



Happy Halloween!!!


As we headed out tonight to take the lake people by storm I was surprised at how few homes were decorated in the honor of Halloween, such a fun night.  It was just an observation, but I realized that many of these people have children who now have their own families and many probably feel that it is more of a hassle to decorate.  More work, decorations to get out, put up, take down, and it is over before you know it.  However, as I saw the smile in my son’s face as he ran door to door and pretended he had to protect us from goblins, it was priceless.  There were a few homes that did it up and I mean smoke machines,  kids jumping out to scare you…it was awesome.  Good for them…maybe some of you are thinking they have too much time on their hands because  you wouldn’t have the time for that.  However, maybe they stayed up till midnight on Sunday, taking the time to create the experience to celebrate.  Either way, we will never know, but this isn’t the point.  The point is that we are surrounded by lessons everyday.  There is no doubt that maybe this year you didn’t have it in you because life has thrown you, your greatest challenge…there is no judgement.  There is just gratitude that we are always surrounded by such simple lessons and reminders to enrich our lives.

On my walk home it made me realize that I feel like this about some things that life throws at us.  Just a simple example, that may not be the best, but I am going with it, is when Sawyer asks to take out the play dough.  Of course this is no big deal, but I have to get it all out, there is a huge mess, I have to clean it all, and put it away.  Shame on me!  This is his time to use his imagination, be creative, and I am thinking of the mess I have to pick up after him.  This is not living in the present moment, something that I pride myself in doing. 

Now before I trash my parenting, it is not often that I say no to the play dough, but there are probably very few times that I don’t think (Ugh this is going to be a mess), this is where I miss the present moment.  I bet each of us could think of a number of similar examples where we are lazy, and this takes the excitement away from someone else.    

So my point is that we need to really reconsider how our reaction may affect another’s light.   Of course there is always the balance of honoring yourself, but you all know what I am saying because probably many of us have had this experience.

Back to All Hallow’s Eve, a night so rich in history and tradition, I want to end this post by one simple idea.  I want to acknowledge that as Halloween is a night many prepare for and celebrate, it is important to see  everyday as an opportunity to see into your life on a deeper level, living more connected.  Recognizing that we are surrounded by opportunities everyday to learn and enrich our lives so we can live more consciously.  It can be something so simple like the play dough, but it is a great reminder that we have an opportunity to bring happiness to someone we love, even a stranger.  That is a gift on such a beautiful night!

Happy Halloween!

May we use this night as a moment to identify the spaces in our life where we can be more conscious.  Being kinder, seeing the other person’s point of view with compassion, letting go of the grudge so light can shine, Most importantly shedding all the pettiness and embrace love.

P>S Nice socks Sawyer!!  LOL