So if you look at the above pictures you may notice some angelic faces. When I was driving home from Boston one day, I asked God for a sign, which I usually see quickly. However, this night there was something in the air as the pink clouds rolled in like waves in the sky, while the sunset took part in this unique scenery. In the first picture you can see the orb that just appeared. I was talking with my friend Cindy and when I sent her the pictures she was shocked. She too was witnessing this beautiful sunset, but she was going North-east. So we were both in awe of the brilliant colors that the sky displayed. I was taking photos and the thirty I took were amazing. The orb, the angelic faces….see if you can find them.
Recently I have been asking for a lot of signs. As our family has been through a number of changes over the past 2 months and we are ready to settle. My heart fell heavy when I found out that Balboa Press, who printed a bad edit of Always A Loveolution, had no intention of covering the books I bought for those who pre-ordered. In addition, they took my excitement as a new author and used it to their advantage telling me that unless I get the professional edit to the tune of close to $4000.00 I would not be able to get my book on the shelves at Barnes and Noble, forget about an I Can Do it Conference. As with anything the truth always reveals itself. So I have found myself in such a state of anger that I was lied to, feeling manipulated by a company that squashed peoples dreams and journey’s. It is so wrong.
I felt such a loss as this seems to be sacred ground. Each book, each author is a representation of ones soul. Upon some research I found blog after blog, and numerous complaints against balboa so I quickly realized that the conglomerate is really all about the dollar signs, using the face of Louise Hay to invite in the willing. So I am moving on, but I had such anger in my heart that anyone could confuse the excitement of a new author with an individual who lacks common sense.
It is always so interesting how we react to situations. I take responsibility in some of it, but the guidance I was promised was a lie. The anger in my heart was lit like an explosive that didn’t have a patriot missile to put it out. It raged for a few days and I took everything in its path. Then I got the message. It is easy to have faith when all is moving along in life, but it is the true testament when you display faith when in the face of a challenge.
Let me share: I asked God why wouldn’t this just be smooth process? Such a beautiful story, WHAT IS THE LESSON?? THen I got it! Through the whispers of friends, and loved ones, I got it. Forgiveness comes from an open heart without any condition or boundaries…or it does not come at all. There are acts done by others that leave a terrible wake in your path, but it is when we don’t seek vengeance and when we open our hearts to the healing light of forgiveness that evil will have no space. THis means surrendering all of your anger, hatred to God so that you have a whole heart of light. That is what it is all about the ability to evolve your soul with the wisdom of love.
I think of all the situations that unfathomable acts would make forgiveness almost impossible. You may think of your own, but how do we have the faith to forgive. In my heart the anger was blinding me. I just wanted to shout through the phone a million absurdities, but I didn’t. As soon as I asked for God to take my anger, a friend called me and gave me some great advice. I sat with this over the weekend, continuing to ask God to take my anger. Today the path is clear and my heart is full of love. Not because I am gonna take the high road, which is just me thinking I am better, but because I am taking the road that God has laid for me; a road that is filled with love. This is the first time I have ever taken this road. I have always said to myself well I will take the high road, but that was just moving to a different level while still feeling all the same anger. THis is the first time I have truly released my heart anger to God. It is a gift and I am so thankful.
To all of you that have pre-ordered the book, I will be sending out a copy with a disclaimer. Please keep in mind it is the content that is full of love not the grammatical edits. Much love and light!
“Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring