Today was a sacred day as I gave my survivor / courage coin to another who needed it. This coin marked a strong staple in my healing as it reminded me, during the many challenging times, of the love and kindness that comes with small blessings. It was sent to me when I was in the beginning of treatment by a women who I did not know and have never met. She heard my story through a friend of a friend and wanted to share her gift. The coin has now been passed to the 7th person who needed the courage to know they can heal, moving past survivorship; The courage to live beyond the thoughts of fear and move right into the ideal of love. The woman who gifted the coin to me will never really know how much her kindness touched me, but I have a feeling she wasn’t looking for anything in return, just setting the intention to move it forward for love.
When I woke up this morning the first thought on my mind was passing along the coin to my friend. It was as if someone was telling me this coin needed to be her new home while she traveled through her journey. I was excited and ready to move it forward as I had a couple of weeks filled with all kinds of small blessings and observations, truly understanding how far a very simple gesture takes the most surprising recipient.
It started almost two weeks ago as I questioned strongly the level that humanity was teetering. I was observing behaviors that left me lost in thought, wondering if people really are as disconnected as it seemed. People only caring about their own life, “looking out for number one” I think the saying goes.
It went from a woman at the grocery store trying to juggle her three kids that were clearly done with their rainy day adventure. As onlookers passed by I could feel the judgment fill the air, the stares and dirty looks…to the record-breaking number of doors that closed in my face because the person in front didn’t care enough or was too busy to hold the door. I was just observing and wondering, I have been in a sort of lock down, so now that I am in full swing, I am just observing with what feels like a new set of eyes.
As I took note of these simple yet disconnected events, I then began to think about why we are disconnected? Is it because we are always thinking really about ourselves or are we attracting that type of energy toward us? I am sure there are many opinions as the idea of humanity can’t be summed up in one sentence, but I was simply just observing. It was in that moment that I thought about how many people live within their own layers. There are many examples of this behavior, but I think the greatest example falls upon those that keep track. Those that take an act of kindness on their part and wait till it returns before they offer another, missing one of the most important life lessons in giving.
That night I prayed! Prayer is an amazing thing that can make many very uncomfortable in discussion. However, prayer has many forums and that night I asked God to surround me only with true relationships as I realized a lot from my weeks of observation. I surrendered to the many times that I gave because I wanted to pat my ego, the times I didn’t listen because I wanted to share my experience, and I prayed. I looked deep into my soul and was so grateful for the many great relationships I have in my life today.
Going through this journey I have pealed a lot of layers off of my life, this includes relationships that were not balanced. The more I am honest with myself I am blessed with observing all the greatness that is in my life. I have stop forcing relationships that do not need to be and this is out of love. From the moment this intention is set, it melts out into the world like a wave, not really knowing exactly who it touches.
Much like a see-saw, this past week I have observed so much kindness that I was almost in disbelief. At the grocery store with just 1 child who was ready to be done with the “shopping experience”, I realized that I picked out avocados that were cracked. The woman standing in front of me happened to notice and told me to run with my son to get 2 more. She not only held my spot, but when I got back to the line she had unpacked my whole grocery cart. It immediately shifted the once felt frenzy, to simple love. The day after as I ran my errands every door was held for me and one nice man even complimented my now very curly hair that I sometimes creates a feeling of insecurity. It was so kind and I accepted his compliment with an open heart! Small blessings, small gestures and acts of kindness kept pouring into my life, which made me feel a connection bound in simple love.
It was not these past observations that moved me to send the coin forward, however, it was these acts that reminded me how special a gift it really is. Through intention and intent we can shift an outlook, a bad day, a bad year to love. So as I once thought that humanity could not be described by just one sentence, I realized it can be described in one word: LOVE!
Do something nice today just because! “O Lord, your power is greater than all powers. Under your leadership we cannot fear anything.
It is you who has given us prophetic power, And has enabled us to foresee and interpret
everything.” – Dinka Prayer (Sudan) of the African traditional religion.