When to move past a relationship?

“Sometimes you have to distance yourself from certain people,not because you don’t love them, because you have to move forward with your life.”

When I first saw this quote years ago I thought how awful, are we in the business of throwing people away because they are different, changing, or maybe going through a difficult time.  But, then as I gained  wisdom and learned, I understood this from a different perspective.

We all change everyday!  Each experience we have changes how we maneuver through this journey we call life.  This change may be minor or even a life changer, but it is these experiences that keep us on our course.  At one point I took this quote to express a vision of the ego, meaning that the person is moving on but this couldn’t be further from the truth.   We are all where we need to be and that is the fact.   If it were any other way then then we would all be off course, like a airplane control tower with no one running the stations.  Respecting this and the relationships we have in our lives is equally important because eachrelationship has been a teacher to you.   However, it is our job to have balance with these relationships.  We all know that some relationships are so much easier to maintain and we feel easily connected to certain people.   We all grow differently with the experiences we face and that is what more or less puts us on our course.  We do not all start on the same start line.

I used to teach this class at least once a year in yoga I would set the class up as a (imaginary) theater.  While helping students create this beautiful space, I would ask them to tap into their energy level.  Bring themselves to a serene place where they know their truth and who serves truth in their life.  Then I would ask questions such as are they giving too much of themselves to too many people?  Are you trying to be the lead role?  Are you the playing the part of the victim.  We get to choose our part as we choose where these relationships fit in our life.

I would continue throughout class to have them think of relationships past, present, and future.  Maybe past ones are over for a good reason, maybe not.  But as I would continue the class I would explain how I slightly see a different perspective from the quote above.  Maybe we can look at life like a theater.  The front row is reserved for those closest to us, those that give us a balance of energy exchange.  The second row reserved for those that offer wisdom and light…teaching roles.  Then all the rows behind we can fill in as we chose.  The relationships in our life that seem draining or not connected, those folks will sit in the balcony bc they still get a great view and maybe they may take a front row seat another time in life.   You can be as descriptive as you want…you can add in the band, the different acts, or the ushers.  However, the point being made is the theater is like your life.  You only have so much to truly give, so instead of chopping people out of your life place them in your theater so they may always be a special part of your life even if you are moving forward.

Another thing that really got me thinking about the theater comes from Betty White. “Keep the other person’s well-being in mind when you feel an attack of soul-purging truth coming on.”  When I read this I think wow we all do this all the time and it is simply a distraction.   A distraction to slow down our show and make us feel like we are top role.  There is a major difference when your heart shares something lovingly to someone or when you are trying to take someone down by the knees.  So these are some of the things to think about when you give out your season tickets.  Those that want to be negative instead of being on the more positive side definitely should be in the balcony, but each year we give out new tickets to new relationships, past and present so that we can have harmony and balance in your theater.

Hope you have a Rocking Theater!!!!



Much Love Holly


  1. Hi Holly,

    I have been keeping tabs on you by reading your posts. You seem to have gained such profound insight over the past year. usuallu I just sit out here in the wings sending you good thoughts. I had to reply because your comment on Betty White really hit home. My husband occassional has an attack of soul-pourging truth and does no always keep the other person’s well being in mind. It’s definitely something he is working on and to see it phrased the way you did makes me chuckle about it.

    I’m so glad to be able to read your posts and am so proud of you.

    Lots of love, Lucy



  2. Hi Holly,
    Thanks for reminding me of your wonderful insight and spirt. One of my favorite of your yoga classes and the reminder that it is alright to rearrange the seating in my theater. Miss you so much!
    Love and Hugs,


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