Month: August 2012

Magic Ride.

So now that we are really settling into our new home (my parents) , all that we have been through in the past year is becoming more clear.  Can we just say WOW!  I would never have seen that coming and I am sure I shocked quite a few friends and family, including myself.

My parents have moved into their new condo over on Webster Lake which is absolutely beautiful.  We have maintained residence in their house in Dudley.  The timing was so perfect it was almost unbelievable and they have been such a help, we are grateful.  However, now that I am moving further and further away from the transplant it all seems like a dream or is it just catching up with all of us.  Either way; there have been a lot of tears and gratitude as I do see the light on the other side.

(UPDATE)  I am fully engrafted with Shad’s cells which means that I didn’t reject any of the millions and millions of cells that were transplanted to me.  My immunity is getting stronger as am I.  I am having little issues with  nausea, but everything else is checking out so it could be a million things so please continue to keep me in your thoughts and prayers.  I am ready to begin life again as living in the house for almost a year has been a lesson in and of itself.

Speaking of lessons there have been so many learned by all those that have been a part of the journey.  The thoughts shared and the love I have received has been beautiful.  I would never imagined that while I am dealing with fear and questions, the most amazing people would show up with just the perfect answers….even yoga journal.LOL

The last month has seemed like the toughest on the emotional level and I can feel my heart healing.  I am really beginning to understand the imaginations we must have to override the ego, the love we must have to forgive and leave judgement behind.  I have so many experiences as I ask God for signs or dreams that are working my deeper inner consciousness.  Last Monday I had an appointment at Dana Farber.  I have a coin with an angel that I always carry with me.  On the back it is in-scripted with strength, courage, and love.  I saw a women and her daughter help her husband/father into the bathroom and I overheard them talking in front of the door.  The daughter was weeping and wanting to hold it together for her father, but in her best effort this was all she could put forward.  She asked her mom how she was so together and the mother said she was just being strong for him.   As I was walking by the front desk I took my angel coin and I wrapped it in the mothers hands, promising her the strength, courage, and love it would bring her. I gave her a hug and was on my way out of Boston.  I had never done anything quite like that before so I felt a little weird, but that was just my ego.

A couple days later a friend came over to visit and bring a birthday present….my heart warmed and my breath stopped as I opened the gift……it was the exact coin that I had given to the woman at Dana Farber.  If this is not an example of paying it forward I am not sure what is.

Over the past year I can’t even begin to tell you how many experiences I have had similar or just a voice giving me guidance.  The more I surrender and embrace effortlessness the easier it all feels.  Is life hard?  (EP)  Yes if that is the imagination we give to it.  We need to learn lessons and sometimes the experiences we go through come out of left field, but somehow it picks you up inspiring you with wisdom and love, leaving you so much lighter and ready to take life to a new space.

It is a blessing on all fronts.

Much love and light!     Holly

I would like to thank Tad, Dave, and my mom as their lives have been in the eye of the storm as well.  As Tad travels for work my mom stays with me at her old house and my dad takes Sawyer to all kinds of places during the day.  All of their immediate and daily support has given me the opportunity to heal.  I would also like to thank all those who have joined me on this lovealution.  All your kindness and love, whether it be a text, a call, a visit, has always come at the most perfect time.  I LOVE YOU!

The Little Pill Box

My last post I realized that I didn’t quite include the title of the post, so I have decided to go back and explain while giving an update on my healing.

There is no question that going through a bone marrow transplant requires pharmaceutical support??  Or does it?  I am not so sure that this journey is about the physical experience, but is about my heart.  I have done a lot of what is called journey work and journaling, I feel so light and have found new passions in my life.  Love and Forgiveness is the path that heals most efficiently, but your ego wants you to stay mad and continue to create the story as to why you should be mad about an old boss or someone who owes you money.   Who cares, manifest the money by yourself.

I was once at a conference where we learned a lot about science combined with spirituality.  This woman took out a dollar bill and she explained the science behind that 1$.  This is just atoms and energy and you can actually measure the energy from any object.  So she explained that if you are angry towards money, or feel that you don’t have enough, all that negative energy is going to act like a shield.  However, if you believe you deserve abundance and use funds in a loving way you may see a lot more float into your life.  I have seen this happen first hand to many people.

There is no difference with this example as there is with illness.  If you fear it will continue to cause suffering in your life.  If you believe you are healed and healthy, embracing all the lessons that come along with this Dis—–Ease then it will be an effortless journey.  I have changed many of my thoughts and I can’t believe how effortless things are opening up for me.  All of my blood work is completely beautiful and I am 100%accepted Shads white cells which is really exciting.  In addition, all the people who pray for me….please don’t stop bc I believe that is a large part of this as well.

Getting to the pill-box:  I can’t imagine what this does to a mother and Father.  My mother has held strong for me and really has helped me change my thoughts when I was basking in fear.  My Mother and Tad have tag teamed making sure that I am in a good place.  They let me cry when I am scared, but help pull it all full circle.  It is hilarious when I walk into the kitchen and she is organizing all the pills in the little red box like I am an 80-year-old woman.  Then the arguments about if I took the right ones…she says it is my memory “but it is ok because once I get off the pills it will be better ” flashes a big old smile.  I went up to my brother’s house to have a weekend out of the house and she even called to make sure I took my pills.  It has been comical in so many ways.  Then Tad is like the secret spy, just watching and when he feels I need to eat more a shake shows up on my night stand.  Don’t get me wrong I do love how much they are taking care of me because it just reminds me of how much they love me.  Love from all who surround you is an amazing healer…..I am blessed.

I still have some healing to do and don’t think that when I head to the doctor to get blood drawn that I don’t feel the power of fear.  But I just work my mantras that I have created and see myself as whole, as I always will be.

 

I am weaning off medication, exercising, and need to gain about 30 lbs any suggestions would be great.  Love and miss you all.  If you want to come and visit I would love to see you!!

 

Blessings,

Holly