So this past weekend our family took a trip up to Jamaica, VT. Tad and Jeff were participating in the tough mudder which is the craziest 10 mile race that has 25 obstacles within; Obstacles that I can’t even begin to explain. However, one for example is called electroshock therapy, where contestants run through a section of wires that are charged with 10000 volts of electricity. http://toughmudder.com/videos/new-england-1-2012/ The race took place on Mt. Snow and the first day I saw the hill in the 90 degree weather I thought,” And a good luck to you.” Friends of my parents offered up their condo, so we assumed they knew I have to be exposed to minimal dust, no must,bacteria, etc. Having this condo is new to them so shutting it down for the winter was a new experience.
Tad and I drove through the mountains and down back roads, it was so beautiful and a few times thought I could be an all american picker. After being stuck in the house for the past 4 months the fresh Vermont air and change of scene was so welcomed.
As we drove up the dirt road to the condo I started to get the feeling that we would be dealing with woodland creatures, but what I wasn’t ready for was the mice that lay dead on the first step and then the mouse poop everywhere. I went into panick mode. OMG “TAD” I can’t stay here, I can’t be exposed to this much dust and bacteria. I wanted and did cry…my first trip and ……plus it was our anniversary. After Tad calmed me down, he started cleaning like he was a Molly Maid.
Then Jeff arrived and began cleaning, while his girlfriend talked me off the ledge. But what happened in a few short minutes was I realized how much fear I was allowing into my space, to ruin my weekend getaway. So I got a pillow and a fleece blanket and cuddled up on the couch. I was going to make this reality mine, not one that has handed to me. After Tad and Jeff cleaned, it was pretty good and we all settled down. Cindy who is a good cook made dinner, we all caught up and laughed all night. It truly was yet another lesson testing me.
The next morning was the tough mudder, they ran for 6 hour straight until we cheered them on through the last obstacle. It was pretty amazing and something I wish to do with my husband when I fully heal.
UPDATE:: I am in a lesson roller coaster. I have had days that I have not felt so great, but then I quickly understand why? I look over my fearful thoughts. My blood work is great…all where it needs to be. The more I learn to surrender the easier it is. But as you can ask my mother and Tad when fear makes its way in, nights and days can be difficult. Hillary: Thank you so much for your post. It is amazing how you can feel the physical change in as when I went into the condo, and how beautiful it is when you surrender it above.
I love and miss you all so much. Although I am stuck in the house a lot we have plenty of room for visitors. 🙂 I LOVE YOU ALL FOR SUPPORTING ME>