Balance

In order to create your true reality you must leave fear in the dark, judgment in the past, and open your heart fully to LOVE!  It is a choice that is waiting to spread through you and all those you choose to be in your reality.

It seems that this above sentence is very difficult to stay true to yourself.  I am working so hard to dissolve any fears that may try to creep into  my head, but with 12,000 – 60,000 thoughts per day and being on house arrest  🙂  it is a bit tough to get your head straight.  Meditation, affirmation, reading, and my family is helping me work through this.  Today I am Leukemia free…..what a success, but my biggest fear is that it will come back.  I WILL NOT live each day with this fear.  I am so blessed that I went into remission in 2 weeks.  I believe there is a bigger plan here, however, there is no question that this fear is triggered by  things that I see, read or things people say in innocence.  I say my no fear mantra and immediately I feel my body chemistry change.  Leukemia has been an opportunity to learn about fear and face it.  We all have fears, but when you really have to face fear you need to learn techniques to squash them, or push them so far into the past that it is just a memory that doesn’t affect the present.  This is our choice…..I am choosing to move past fear, it doesn’t happen in a day, but huge strides since October.  I am facing it head on softly and gently  like a goddess, instead of a warrior.  I am taking this route because the more I listen to the fear the more I realize how much of a trick it really is and how my mind wants to keep this obstacle course in full swing.   Today, I will Love this fear bc it has taught me a lesson the most precious life lesson.

Fear……it is a beast.  Running its course through most of our lives, I can only imagine what the world would look like if there was no fear or even less fear. (Can we say Happyville)!! Fear does an amazing job fooling many of us as our inner voice, the ego doesn’t want us to know the truth.  Therefore, we take the hard path because of fear, not realizing that if we listen to our inner guide, life would be easier and filled with so much more love.  We wouldn’t feel that missing piece or feel misguided in life.

When one feels misguided, where is the most common place we look?  Outside ourselves, often looking to our culture and society to give us a definition of what is right and wrong.  Of course this starts with our parents mold, however, we quickly take over as early as grade school.  This is where we really experience judgment and begin creating our story.  Fear keeps you working and living externally so you don’t notice that you don’t like your job, haven’t been on vacation for 5 years because you don’t have the money, or want to lose weight but you don’t have time  to exercise.  These are just a couple of examples of many that keep you living in fear, keeping the door closed to living your true life.

Fear is the biggest creator of boundaries and judgment.  It can keep us in the handcuffs of suffering for many years.  There are many examples of fear creating boundaries and judgment.  It can be as simple as seeing a women who is dressed beautifully and you fear that you don’t look as good or it can  be going to dinner with a friend and you are a raw foodist.  You batter her through most of dinner because of her choice in food.  Making yourself feel better and your friend is left crying in her chix parmagian…LOL  That is just a joke, but you get what I am saying.  Fears hide themselves.  Yes it can be a big fear, but insecurity is a fear, worry is a fear.     As I said before fear (ego) is extremely tricky, much like a chameleon.  Once you start to recognize fear in its simplest and largest forms it becomes easier to erase them from your life.

However, you have to identify them first!!

I sat down one night and listed all the things I believe are fears, it was getting so long I stopped to work on it later. 🙂 I was shocked bc I work through yoga to minimize fear, so now I am digging .  It was really an amazing exercise as I then wrote how I can release these fears to be free so I can LIVE and BE HAPPY!

 

Many Blessings to you all!  Thank you for keep me in your prayers.  It you have any suggestion go to the bottom of the blog and hit comment.

 

 

5 comments

  1. I love this post. One aspect of fear is that cripples you. It stops you from enjoying life – from loving people and your self – and from doing amazing things! Like the raw foodist who has fear/defensiveness at her lunch date with her friend – when, instead, could have really enjoyed that time! For me, the biggest thing about fear right now is that it is the only thing that would influence me (if I allow it) to stop doing all the things I have in my head to do. In fact, I was just thinking about the time in the Bible when Jesus walked on water. Ok, so that doesn’t make me THAT amazed…. he was JESUS. However, what happens next is that Peter sees Jesus from his boat and says “Lord, if that is you, let me come out to you.” And he is beckoned by Jesus and he, Peter, walks on the water. The next part is my warning. “But when Peter saw the strong wind, he became frightened. As he began to sink, he shouted, “Lord, rescue me!” (This is from Matthew 14 if anyone wants to read the whole record.)

    It’s not that there was no wind and waves before Peter decided to walk out of the boat. There was. So, what happened was his perspective changed – what he believed changed. In order for him to walk on water, he must have thought it was possible and then somewhere along the line he decided “this is not possible” EVEN THOUGH HE WAS DOING IT! Crazy. I am motivated by that fact that Peter, not just Jesus, walked on the water – and I truly believe that this record is symbolic to us of doing the “impossible.” But, when we fear – we can’t do it anymore!! And that stinks because I want to do it – (even though my “it” is not the same as Peter’s)

    I think that what you (Holly) say about addressing what your fears are – like writing them out (I remember this from labor training and it was an amazing exercise) – really allows you to address them – so that they don’t sneak in and influence your choices. They have a way of fooling us when we don’t see them. So, we just have to be honest. Acknowledging our fears does not make us weak. Denying our fear weakens us because then the fears are able to take advantage of us.

    Thanks again, Holly, for inspiring all of us in our own journeys. And, really, even though we are all going down different roads – our journeys are all the same, right? We all are travelling to get to peace and enjoyment of the life we have. And even though our obstacles look different, we all face the same challenges – like removing the influence of our fears.

    I am so blesses to be travelling alongside of my friends who are enjoying their journeys. Love and Blessings ~G

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  2. Grace what a beautiful story to share, it couldn’t have been more exact. I am new at this blogging thing so I am trying to figure how people. If you have used wordpress before let me know. Love and miss you so much!

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  3. Wonderful post Holly, you are so right, fear is a nasty creature that sneaks into our lives and mucks everything up……I too struggle with fear, and I too am winning this battle. I have started manifesting, and just that time thinking about what you want and the truth in it, the fear subsides……So thankful, relaxed and in love with the world……Love and miss you lady.

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  4. I read an account once about a girl who was literally raised by wolves. She was an extremely keen hunter and she moved on her hands and feet. (After she was “rescued” it took years of therapy for her to learn to stand erect but she always preferred to walk on all fours.) Her rescuers observed how she would hunt at night for birds hiding on a wall covered in ivy. In nearly complete darkness, she could identify and capture a bird while the people watching her could barely see anything at all.

    This reminds me of what you blogged about being able to identify fear in order to eliminate it. It takes practice to learn to recognize what is a bird and what is a leaf. However, once you know what you’re looking for, you get better and better at spotting those things quickly. Just like fear, it takes practice to “see” those fearful thoughts. And, you don’t need to be afraid of fear. It is simply a suggestion. You can take it or you can leave it. It cannot exist if it is not believed and will then just fade into its native nothingness.

    You choose what you believe. Be relentless in your choice! Good and evil/fearful thoughts cannot coexist. You can extinguish fear just as mist evaporates in the sun. It leaves no residue and will not return while the sun is shining.

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