Month: March 2012

Home, Home, Home!

I have been home for about 2 to 3 weeks, the hands of time lost somewhere between the hospital doors and the cheeks of an angel.  Sawyer didn’t miss a beat, it was as if I was never gone.  The funny part is that there is much about my month stay at Brigham that I don’t remember, which probably puts Sawyer and I on the same page with Father Time.

It was a month full of challenge, strength, and growth for my whole family.  I embarked on a journey which would be the final leg in its completion.  There were 20 pages of “medical things” which I never quite read as I knew I didn’t need the physical suggestion to dance in my head….LOL.  But with all seriousness I needed a clear mental space and I was going to take whatever I could get.  As you can imagine being in the hospital for a month was filled with all kinds of physical adventure, you can picture the usual suspects.  I shared some and really the rest is just dust that will settle somewhere else as I have chosen to long sweep it away.

Feb 9th was my rebirth night.  It was a really special night as I posted what prayer and intention were spoken before I was given Shads cells.   I want to share again, that it was a night my family will never forget.  For my mother, one child saved another, for Tad a brother-in-law shared cells that will forever melt in love, and for me a new relationship, no matter how subtle, will continue to change my life.  And of course all of those amazing, beautiful cells that have blended and become one.  Shad donated all day and produced twice as many cells as they really like to get and in this case more is better so the transplant was a huge success.  The list of “medical things” never jumped onto my page.  I did have some struggles, but it was a combination of things that kept me in the hospital.  Tad and my mother pretty much managed my care as for about a week I don’t remember much.  Apparently I was really funny and repeated my humor quite often, but it was a short period of time that they carried me completely.  The rest was a group effort and now I am finally home.

I looked back at my last post and can’t believe again father time taking up space.  It seems like I am just this week getting my feet back on the ground and gaining clarity.  I have been to 3 follow-ups all with great success.  All my cells have synergistically come together and they didn’t miss a beat.  Often times one will need medication to help the body kick start the regeneration process, but I did not need any help (physically anyway).  All came together through Gods Love and each week my cells and body have responded amazingly.  All organ function and blood work is better than they expect…ahh what can I say all these cells are little overachiever.  🙂  I can’t thank you enough for all your intentions, love, prayer, as I know that these thoughts are one of the strongest driving forces, next to Gods Love.  And without this it would make this journey that much more challenging.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Thank you for your patience and support in getting back on my feet.  As I said the first few weeks home were quite foggy and I am just now gaining clarity and strength each week….along with confidence.  I am on the other side of this journey and feel so blessed, there will never be words that can completely explain this feeling, at least not right now.  I am putting back together the pieces and as it gets a bit easier I am starting to see the bigger picture.  I am ready to live.  Life will never be the same.  My heart feels so full and don’t sweat the small stuff is an understatement.

I will keep posted my progress as my weekly visits today will turn into monthly visits tomorrow.  Then will be yearly and a learning block that has shifted life forever.  Over the next 6 months I have to continue to exercise caution, making good decisions with trips and visits.  As each month passes and my immunity gets stronger, I gain more freedom.  I am excited to use some of this downtime to write and share the insight I have learned.  I am definitely looking forward to utilizing a couple local yoga studios I have stumbled upon, But most importantly I am ready to Live LIFE!!  I don’t need to worry about time missed with Sawyer and family because it has all been growing and an intricate part of this learning journey.

Now that I am home and feeling up to it please know that you can reach out anytime.  It was tough when I was in the hospital, but that is over and I would love nothing more than some visits and phone calls.  As I said I have appreciated all the space, love, and intentions so when you have time I have more freedom to visit.  I miss you all so much and again thank you so much for all the love and support!!  I have 40 more days of strict diet. I can’t eat any raw food and almost everything has to be cooked….so if you have any suggestions for meals or snacks I would love it!   🙂
Can’t wait to see you soon.  Spring is in the air!

Much love and light!

Holly Peckskamp

508 789 7718

And so it begins…..

I starred out the window of room 54 almost all night on Thursday, Feb 24 wondering if it would be the day??  I watched all kinds of crazy shows and filled the rest of my time with prayers and vision intake, knowing the last thoughts I wanted going through my head and heart were LOVE.  The next morning I felt different, I KNEW I was going home.   Tears slid down my face as the early morning sun peaked through the blind, God gave me a message during slumber….it was time.  Time to shake it off and live life!  PHEW!!!!  I made it!

Tad got to the hospital and saw my face equally knowing we were out a there!!  Lots of things to do that day, pack, listen to all kinds of discharge but so is how we graced the doors closed on discharge.  The nursing staff on floor 4C just the best.  Through the month they laughed, cried, told strories of all kinds, new relationshiops that mark my space for eternity!

As I have thought many times since August …..And so it begins…. This is the reality upon thinking it so many times, seeing it written so many times, and now knowing in my heart:  THERE IS NO BEGINNING AND NO END, JUST THE FREEDOM WE CREATE ALONG THE WAY!  What a beautiful lesson to truly learn and value on my journey.  An easy one (I would have thought), but just in time to hold hands, guiding through the truth of reaction.  We choose the vessel on the great mighty river.  We choose to dance, to sing, to laugh, to cry, but each emotion is a belief that will help us connect stronger to that which we are trying to create in our life.  As Gods shows us these truths, peeling them back layers at a time, it is quite easy to see that FEAR is the ultimate prize that holds us back.  Fear is the battle that has been fought for  centuries, one man at a time.  It is my belief that many of the battles fought in the bible were metaphysical reflections that told a story.  Call it whatever you would like, but the more clear we become the easier our love heart shines; its beckon home, serving god and all those around us!

This was the post the day before I left the hospital for home!