Hanging here in the four walls of Brigham and Woman’s hospital has been quite the interesting experience. During my last stay back in October, I could walk in the outer corridor of the pod, but this time I am like the girl in the bubble. It is quite amusing and I will go along with it because it has given me so much time to read, color (which I haven’t done a lot of since I was a kid and it is so therapeutic…thanks Hillary), pray, forgive, write, laugh, write, and laugh. However, do not get me wrong as soon as my counts recover with Shad’s cells, I will be etching at the bit to leave; saying goodbye to some amazing people who have cared for me during this adventure.
Last night Tad and I were playing cards and really just having such a good time together….I was thinking what in the heck must he be thinking as he sit in front of me with a mask and gloves so that there isn’t even the potential of passing “those bad germs”. We agreed long ago that I was healed so that these are just the motions of learning, the challenge of staying in this truth vs the fear. All of this brought me last night to thinking about opposites and how they parallel pretty much everything in our world; good vs. evil, right vs. wrong….I could go on forever, but you get the point.
I was thinking about light vs. darkness and how much my view has changed with this particular opposite over the past months. It is definitely one that can entertain you for hours, as to which direction you would like to take your belief. While reading the ideas of Gregg Brayden, I realized that just the thought of judging one as good or bad keeps them both very present in your thoughts, so just let them both be. In doing so your heart gravitates toward the truth which (for me) is that God is all. It is during the time when we turn away, that we allow (the ego) fear, anger, and most commonly judgment to take present stage. It is the power of judgement specifically that tends to be a powerhouse magnet pulling all kinds of fearful experiences and/or relationships in your life. It can even be donated by relationships in your life as well.
I can’t begin to describe how many yoga classes I have taught and been present as a student, that discuss the polarities of fear and judgment. Focusing on the relationships in your life and how you allow them to affect you. I have created a metaphorical auditorium, where the closest friends/family got front row seating, while those that brought out the tougher qualities remained in the balcony. I have never been so humble as I am today to understand that this is just a massive way to judge all those in your life with high expectations, falling into the ancient trap that keeps you stuck in old beliefs of ego. Although, I thought this was an interesting way to identify all the relationships in your life, it is time to rise above this type of judgment and thinking. “Rise above the polarity and heal the conflict between darkness and light – not just to survive it, but to become greater than the opposites that the battle itself allows..” Gregg Brayden
When we begin to recognize that we are here to serve and to be one with God, fully present in our heart, the sooner we realize that we are not here to judge any of our brothers and sister. We are not here to have expectations of them, we are here to listen to Gods call and LIVE a beautiful life while evolving our consciousness. However, with that being said we are all at different places in our awakening, there always need to be a student and a teacher. So as you rise above judgement the relationships in your life may change temporarily or permanently, but regardless it will keep you evolving in Gods truth and in the love of your heart.
“Each person is born with an infinite power, against which no earthly force is of the slightest significance.” Neville Goddard
Today is day +4 – please keep envision all my cells and shad’s cells having the most victorious party together as they begin to go back up. When they begin to go up that is when I go home 🙂
Love to you all!