“I see my life as an unfolding set of opportunities to awaken.”
It has been nice to have time over the past weeks to reflect silently on this journey since Oct 2; it has just been incredible. It is interesting how life can change on an inhale and at the same time teach you more than you ever thought possible on the exhale. Life will never be the same; I am grateful.
A few mornings ago I drove myself into Boston, which was so AWESOME! I think we all forget how little things, like driving, give us independence on so many levels. In addition, time to rock out to my favorite country tunes was a perfect start to a beautiful day. When I got to Brigham and Women’s, I was waiting for the valet parking attendant to get my ticket while I overheard a conversation between two men sitting on the front wall having a cigarette break. They both looked as though they had very intricate stories to tell. One, a new native to what I think is one of the best cities in the world. He was sharing his journey and fears of moving to a city where he didn’t know a soul, but on some level he felt home. The other man sharing a story of his recent recovery, going into details that brought tears to my eyes. He shared his trials and tribulation, his bottom and how he knew this was a challenge he was going to overcome. He caught that I was listening to his story and seemed excited to have an audience as he was exceptionally proud of his work so far. However, his bottom was hard to hear. Sleeping in park benches on the cold winter nights, trying to sell his only coat for a hit. As I sat there listening with admiration I was amazed how much the three of us had in common. We were all facing a challenge that demanded strength, understanding, and courage. The common thread weaving together our stories was faith.
As I was leaving my car, my smile spoke volumes while I made my way into the hospital to continue my journey. Up to the second floor to get blood drawn and then waiting. It is a nice time to read and journal, but for this day I just sat in thought, watching all the other stories that were sitting all around me. It brought me back to my senior year in high school; a simple quote which seemed to make so much sense…. “Don’t go with the flow, create it.”. When I wrote this in 1994 it seemed simple, I wanted to create my future. It would be years later that I was introduced to the Movie the Secret and learned about manifesting. I can’t help but think that somewhere along the way I jumped in the Delorean and planted this for me to see during this time in my life. But as I sat in thought I have come to realize that there is a big part of this quote missing that brings it back full circle, with no beginning and no end.
I began journaling about this quote and the missing piece that I have learned while being on this journey. There is a divine flow to life without question. Some believe we choose this before we come earthside, some believe it is God guiding us, but whatever your belief there is no doubt as we have all felt this flow with the ease of our breathe and the wisdom that has guided the next. As I sat writing away these thoughts, I scribed a metaphor that I believe would best describe the words that I was trying to make sense on paper. Divine source is this amazing, vast river with constant flow, we are the boat. As the divine flow of the river changes in life it offers the opportunity to learn and overcome, evolving closer to love. The river may sometime flow nice and smooth, sometimes fast and with constant command, but each time this flow changes we are presented with the challenge to create and manifest the vessel that we are traveling. In addition, We can create the shoreline and the items we may need to make the journey more successful, but no matter we play a role in the creation. Where is gets tricky is when we start kicking and screaming when the flow gets a little wild. We start trying to grip the shoreline to stop the flow, instead of focusing on what we need to get through the challenge that stares us square in the eye.
When I sat quietly and looked at the many different scenarios I gave this metaphor it all began to make sense. During every journey, at some point, we try to throw out an anchor or jump ship. However, the river is going to keep flowing. Most often the reason we are trying to escape this divine flow is fear, but once we overcome the mortal thoughts we begin to focus on the vessel and the depth of that vessel (the soul). Then we shift and the sail catches wind to bring us back to life. We embrace the challenge and see it for the blessing that it presents in our journey. For me this blessing has brought much forgiveness and love to a level that I am not sure I can quite explain. Maybe there are no words. Trusting that the river will divinely flow and present the chance to understand that love has no boundaries, it is all. It just takes one hug to wipe away a day of struggle. The power this emotion embodies has given me the strength to trust the river to evolve in truth without judgment. To spiritually clean out my closet and start fresh. A rebirth with new senses to connect with Gods voice and dismiss the thoughts that are loaded with fear and judgment. It all comes full circle and each time you take a trip around you peel back a layer of the veil which navigates you to freedom.
On my way home my mother called as she was nervous about me driving alone to Boston. She is so cute because throughout this experience she has never been worried about anything except for me driving alone to Boston. She has been such a rock especially when I have wanted to throw out the anchor. So as I pulled back into Dudley I realized that if I could go back in the Delorean I would change my senior quote to:
“Embrace the Divine flow, while you create each breath towards awakening.”
Thank you all for your continued love and support as I prepare for the last leg of this journey!
Love and light!