I can not really explain what it felt like the first few days after hearing news of the blood results. Each morning was like reliving it all over again, all the emotions flooding in trying to knock me off course from what I had decided and worked through the day/night before. It was simply fear: False Evidence trying to appear as real as could be. Fear is such an amazing element of life. We can fear all kinds of things like flying or heights, but those are just boundary testers bc just as we know this is a fear, we can work slowly toward overcoming or stay as far away as we would like. There are much more complex levels of fear that go in many directions. However, the bottom line is that FEAR creates a boundary which simply takes away the very freedom that keeps us alive and connected to God. It slowly breaks us down we when embrace the physical evidence to be true, even when we know on many levels that it is not.
I have taught many yoga classes on fear; how to minimize fear in ones life, how to embrace the challenge to learn, how to create more freedom, the list goes on. However, after reflecting upon fear and doubt I have come to the realization that it all boils down to two ultimate fears: death and the unknown (and of course the fear of the hosptial food…what exactly is that? lol) I believe it is this ultimate ideal that all other fear stems. It took one phone call to bring me eye level to this ultimate fear. In truth, I believe that really there is not such thing as death. Our physical vessel in the material world feels very real to us all, but it is the spirit inside that really shines out light. This spirit can NOT die, so if we come full circle there is no such thing as death. Historically, this is why so many cultures celebrate this experience. However, this news definitely tested this to a whole new level. It is one thing to ponder or be a risk taker, it is altogether different when it is put on your plate and we have no choice but to embrace it as a gift and challenge. To look it straight in the eye and let go (truly let go) of false evidence and outcomes and just live in the truth. The truth is that I am a child of God. I believe I have written a journey earthside to learn and evolve spiritually. Each challenge in your life is an opportunity to live fearlessly with faith. To set yourself free from fleeting illusions and let love and God navigate you through. There have been several days that I have failed to adapt to this truth, letting false evidence create fear of death, leaving my family behind, etc. But I know this is not real. Most days I move forward with Gods guidance, embracing the new lessons that are shifting me faster internally then ever before. The realization that love and forgiveness is where it is at and applying these truly within each breath.
This experience will forever change me and I believe will bring forward much understanding in our connection to one another. The words and encouragement that have assisted and lifted me up have been overwhelming. We are all one and it is amazing to share and learn from one another!
“Life ain’t always beautiful, but it is a beautiful ride.” GA This is going to be a beautiful ride!
Many blessings in light,